


This World Ain't Big Enough For The Two Of Us

by bloodred_ander



Category: Cricket RPF, Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Cricketers are oblivious, Don't hate me for this, F/M, Footballers being adorably insecure, Gen, ICC Cricket World Cup 2015, Inappropriate Humor, Literally The Dumbest Thing You Will Ever Read, M/M, this fic is gonna be complete and utter madness i swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3499709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodred_ander/pseuds/bloodred_ander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if they steal all our fans?" Leo's sad smile contrasts Cris' evil genius one.</p><p>"Don't worry, they won't," Cris is a little surprised at how confident - and crazy - he sounds to his own ears.</p><p>"But what if-"</p><p>"Don't worry. We'll take care of them before anything of that sort happens. Ha! Those bastards won't even know what hit 'em," Cris laughs maniacally. Leo inches away from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This World Ain't Big Enough For The Two Of Us

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly I would like to say that in no way is this fic meant to be disrespectful to any particular person or their profession for that matter.
> 
> Secondly, I am not a major fan of cricket and therefore I don't know that much about the game but I do have a basic understanding about it thanks to my grandfather :) So if there are any mistakes in the fic and I know there will be a lot, feel free to correct me.
> 
> Thirdly, for the sake of this fic let's just pretend that this is set in an AU where the footballers are on a break for the entire duration of the ICC Cricket World Cup. _Fiction_ , right?
> 
> This is a crack fic so it will differ drastically from reality and I apologize in advance for that and for the fact that most of the characters are going to be very ooc.
> 
> I am warning you guys that this fic is gonna be utterly senseless and dumb but I hope you guys read it and enjoy it nonetheless!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cris doesn't really know when - _or how_ \- he started sharing Leo's ridiculous sense of insecurity. And he doesn't really want to know how - _or why_ \- the others are so insecure as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I mentioned, no disrespect intended. And I'm pretty sure Cristiano loves watching cricket :)

Cris sighs as he walks into Leo’s apartment to find him sitting on his couch, staring intently at his TV screen. Cris can almost _taste_ the disappointment on his tongue as he comes closer to Leo and sees what the Argentine is watching. Don’t get him wrong; being a sportsman himself, Cris has the utmost respect for people who play any type of sport. That is any type of sport except one; Cricket. According to him it’s the single most boring game ever invented and try as he might, Cris will never understand how people can like such a sport leave alone play it. To each his own, he supposes.

It takes a while for Leo to sense Cris' presence. When Leo does acknowledge him, however, it’s with a defensive look.

“Oh c’mon, Cris, don't do this again,” Leo complains. Cris crosses his arms over his chest.

“I haven't done anything,” He points out but Leo rolls his eyes and huffs rather loudly as he turns his attention back to the game currently being televised.

“You’re giving me _that_ look again,” It takes Cris a moment to realize that he probably has that disapproving frown on his face again. The one he’s been sporting quite often these past few weeks. He can’t help it though; Leo’s been obsessively following this stupid _Tri-Series_ and it’s getting on Cris’ nerves. Well, firstly, because he hates Cricket and secondly, because Leo spends more time watching the stupid series instead of hanging out with him. Not that he’s going to tell Leo that of course.

“ _What_ look?” Cris questions as he sits down beside Leo, determined not to show just how much Leo’s new found obsession with Cricket is ticking him off.

Leo doesn't look at him as he answers.

“It’s that expression you make that borders between you being disappointed in me and looking as though you just swallowed a bug. And what’s all the more disturbing is you manage to look exactly the way my father does when I fail to score in one of my games. To be honest it feels like you’re judging me and it makes me feel pathetic,” Leo mumbles that last sentence and Cris feels like the biggest dick on the planet. He feels like an even bigger one when Leo gives him a sad look and sighs dramatically as he reaches out for the remote. Cris knows Leo’s just being a pitiful asshole but to save himself a lot of drama Cris speaks up before Leo can turn off the TV.

“Who’s playing today?” It seems like a sensible thing to ask, seeing has Cris has no idea what's going on when it comes to this series. Or maybe it's just Cricket in general. _Whatever_.

Cris has to suppress the urge to raise his brows at the way Leo perks up instantly; eyes shining and a bright smile to match the excited look on his face.

“This is the first time you've asked me that,” Leo looks so happy about it that Cris feels bad for not paying attention towards any of the earlier games that Leo’s watched. Cris smiles and shrugs and then because he feels like he needs to say something to Leo he simply says, “I’m in a good mood today.”

Leo laughs.

“Australia’s playing England. It's the final,” He says and keeps looking at Cris as though expecting him to ask more questions.

Cris looks at the screen where he can see two batsmen in green kits and the remaining players on the field in blue. He hesitates for a moment before he looks back at Leo and smiles awkwardly. He has a guess about which team is wearing what color but there's no harm in confirming it, right? And of course being as slow as he is he doesn't realize that all the information that he needs is being displayed at the bottom of the screen. _Who pays attention to that anyways?_

“The guys in green are…….?”

“Australia,” Leo’s expression and the way he says it is like as if it’s the most obvious thing on the planet. But then Cris watches Leo’s expression change, probably just now recalling that Cris’ never watched more than two games of Cricket in his entire life. Leo looks at him for a moment before he oh-so-helpfully clues him in. 

“England won the toss and chose to field. Australia have to bat obviously. That's Finch and Warner. They're the opening batsmen," Leo says it as though he’s explaining it to a five year old. Now, Cris may hate this damned game but he does know the basics about it (okay maybe not the players' names) and the way Leo’s explaining things to him is bound to hurt his oversized ego at some point.

A really great snarky comment comes to mind but Cris doesn't get the chance to say it because just at that moment the first wicket falls. He looks at Leo's sad expression and thinks that this is enough punishment. For now at least. Leo looks like he wants to punch something. Cris just doesn't like that murderous look on Leo's face so he decides to distract him.

“So, what, this game is like…..20 overs or something?” Cris smiles at the baffled expression on Leo's face. He's probably taken aback by the fact that Cris even knows what the word _over_  means.

“50,” Leo answers softly.

He opens his mouth as if to say something more - possibly something insulting - but stops himself once Cris gives him a challenging look. Instead Leo smiles and turns his attention back towards the game. Cris follows suit, happy that Leo isn't that angry anymore. 

He still does not want to be watching this game though, so he ends up glaring at the screen, wishing that he could somehow just fast-forward to the end of this stupid game. His attention eventually falls on the stats crammed onto the bottom of the screen. Honestly, it gives him a headache but he can somehow make out that they're just 3 overs into the game. He tries to make out some others things like the name of the other batsmen or who’s bowling this current over and his eyes land on the ‘P’ just beside where the overs are being displayed. He knows what that means and for no particular reason he just mumbles out, “powerplay” and almost has a mini heart attack as Leo whips his head around to face him.

“What!?” Leo asks incredulously.

Cris can’t help but smirk at Leo’s incredulity. He really, really, wants to say ‘yeah bitch I know more about cricket than you think I do’ but he doesn't. Mostly 'cause he's such a good friend and partly because it would hurt little Leo's feelings.

“Powerplay,” Cris repeats and then just because his ego could do with a little boosting, he adds what he remembers his father explaining to him all those years ago, “It’s like when all the fielders have to be within the 30-yard circle and only 3 fielders are allowed to field outside of it or.....something..." he trails off at the end 'cause okay maybe he's not that sure of what he's saying. But Leo's smiling at him and he thinks that maybe he's said it right.

"That is.....yeah. Pretty much." Leo says but he looks like he wants to add something more. Cris raises his eyebrows in inquiry but Leo shakes his head and smiles at him. Cris smiles too.

"I thought you don't like cricket?" Leo questions after a second of silence.

"I don't." Cris confirms, "but I do remember the basics that my dad explained to me, back when he was still alive and we would watch cricket together." He suddenly feels extremely vulnerable and awkward because talking about his father is still not something he's comfortable with.

"Well, good then 'cause I don't think I'd have the energy to explain everything to you." Leo laughs good-naturedly and Cris chucks a cushion at his head. It goes flying past Leo and lands somewhere on the floor behind him and out of Cris' line of sight.

"It's a good thing you don't play cricket as well 'cause you have terrible aim." Leo says, smiling. Cris mumbles an embarrassed 'whatever' and turns his attention back to the television, concentrating on the game for real this time.

After another over or so Cris lets out an impatient sigh.

"Oh God," he mumbles "please give me strength to get through this game alive."

But apparently his mumbling was audible enough for Leo to hear because he's laughing and saying, "Don't be so dramatic Cris. It's really not that bad! I'm sure you'll see that eventually."

Cris scoffs "Yeah, right."

Leo throws his head back and groans. Cris doesn't know what's his problem.

"Please just watch the game without complaining, Cris." Leo begs and he looks close to tears and Cris really, really, needs to know what his problem is because honestly no one gets so worked up over a game of cricket. He decides he'll have plenty of time to find out after the game is over - if he's still alive by then - but for now all he does is apologize.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry and I promise I'll watch the entire game without complaining."

Leo seems satisfied enough with this. He turns his attention back to the game and turns up the volume. It's unnecessary really but Cris guesses that Leo's just trying to show that he doesn't want to be disturbed again. Cris gloomily looks back at the screen and God knows he's already given up following the game but for Leo's sake, he sits there and acts excited.

 

 

A couple of hours later and Cris is so drained - both mentally and physically - that he can barely even think but Leo's so damn ecstatic about Australia's triumph over England that he can barely shut-up!

Leo's practically bouncing on the couch, clapping his hands and looking for all the world like an overly excited kid. Leo's beaming at the TV, as the entire Australian team gathers together for their picture with the trophy and then he does something so unusual that Cris feels like he's dreaming.

Leo just jumps up from his spot on the couch, runs to the TV, places his hands on the edges of it to give himself some stability and then he kisses - actually fucking _kisses_ \- a particular spot or rather a particular someone on the screen. Cris is so shocked he doesn't move for a while. Leo doesn't seem to realize what he's done or the fact that he's done it in the presence of someone. He's just staring dreamily at the person he just screen-kissed, when Cris clears his throat and almost gives Leo a heart-attack.

"What the hell was that?" he questions. Leo looks like he could actually die of embarrassment and his face turns an ungodly shade of red. He stares at Cris for a while, deciding on a reply that could probably salvage some of his dignity but in the end all he manages is a defensive, "What? There's nothing wrong with that."

Cris bursts out into a fit of uncontrolled laughter. Leo groans and just wishes he wasn't so easily carried away by his emotions. By the time Cris is done laughing at Leo, he's wiping away tears and clutching his stomach. Leo tries his best to look angry but with that million dollar smile Cris has on his face, it's just impossible.

"Nothing wrong with that? Leo, you are a grown man. Men don't go around kissing other men on TV screens. The fangirling bit is for the women to do, we just pop open beers and nod our heads in appreciation and maybe even mumble a 'he's good' but that is all! But y'know what? Don't worry Leo," Cris says snickering, "ain't nothing wrong with a bit of manly love."

Leo buries his head in his hands as Cris begins laughing again. Cris thinks it's ironic really; the world's greatest footballer fangirling - _fanboying?_ \- over some mediocre cricketer from down under. Okay, maybe not the world's greatest because he was still here, wasn't he? And as far as Cris remembers he won the Ballon d'Or this year so.....

In any case, Cris is still laughing his ass off when he's hit by a sudden stifling urge to know which mediocre cricketer from down under has captured the interest of the infamous Lionel Messi. And so Cris' fit of laughter ends abruptly as he zeroes in on Leo, who backs away a little. Cris realizes he's been so busy teasing Leo that he's forgotten to pay attention to _who_ Leo screen kissed.

"So Leo, tell me, who is your lover-boy ?" Cris smirks as Leo's face turns bright red. But that smirk quickly turns into an amused grin when Leo smiles shyly and says, "Mitch Marsh."

Cris is surprised at the fact that Leo doesn't even bother saying 'he's not my lover boy' or make any such statement that will confirm that Leo does not - love - have a crush on this Mitch person. He's surprised but he's definitely not jealous. Not even when Leo starts rambling on about his cricket-crush with an animated look on his features. Nope, Cristiano Ronaldo does not do jealous. Not at all.

".........and he's an all-rounder, which makes him that much more cooler. I mean, did you see the way he played today? Just. Wow. And Mitch even played football till he was seventeen and........" Cris stops listening as Leo goes into details about Mitch's life. He doesn't need to know what the guy did or didn't do 'cause he doesn't care. Who cares if he's an all-rounder? Who cares if he played football when he was younger? What type of a name is ' _Mitch Marsh'_ anyway?

"It's a beautiful name." Leo says defensively and Cris realizes that he said that last bit out loud. Cris looks at Leo's hurt expression and tries to right his wrongs.

"Leo, I didn't....that's not.....I mean his name is beautiful, of course it is. I just didn't....." Leo cracks a small smile and Cris breathes a sigh of relief.

Leo sits back down on the couch and says, " And by the way, his name's Mitchell."

"Oh like that's so much better." Cris jokes and Leo rolls his eyes at him. No but honestly, it isn't. Seriously, Mitchell? Cris thinks that this guys parents should have named him Michelle instead. But of course, he doesn't tell Leo that. 

The game is over obviously but Leo still hasn't turned off the TV. Cris doesn't ask why either. They're sitting in silence and watching the advertisements for no particular reason when Leo suddenly tenses. Cris looks at him curiously but Leo has his attention glued to the TV. Cris looks back at the screen. They're showing that promotional ad, that one for the ICC world cup which has a really catchy song. Cris has to frown because seriously, there's nothing wrong with this but Leo's acting like he's watching his greatest nightmare. 

"Is everything okay?" He asks Leo and startles him. Leo swallows thickly and turns off the TV. 

"Yeah. Why?" Leo's acting like nothing happened but Cris knows something is bothering him.

"You're acting weird. All scared and stuff...." Leo looks at him and frowns.

"No. No I'm not. You're imagining things..." For a moment Cris thinks that maybe Leo's right but then Leo wipes his hands on his pants and Cris smirks. He knows that Leo only does that when he's nervous. 

"Okay. Seriously Leo, tell me what's going on in that over-sized head of yours." Cris jokes. Or at least he makes it seem like he's joking because Leo really does have a big head. And also really big ears.

Leo punches his arm playfully and smiles. He struggles for a second but then finally he says, "It's nothing really. Just forget about it. It's a stupid thought."

"Doesn't matter. Tell me what it is." Cris demands. 

Leo sighs and looks at his hands like they're suddenly very interesting. Cris waits for him to speak. One second passes. Then two. Then three.....four......five. And that's about all the suspense Cris can handle.

"Leo!" Cris exclaims. Leo sighs in defeat.

"Alright! Alright! I'll tell you but you've gotta promise you won't laugh." Leo still isn't looking at him.  

"I promise. Now tell me." Cris sighs.

"It's about the world cup." 

"The cricket world cup? What about it?" Cris frowns.

"It's.....I mean we could....I've been thinking.....what if....." Leo goes on forming incoherent sentences until Cris yells at him to say something that makes sense. 

"It's a world cup......It's quite a big deal." Leo still isn't looking at him and Cris' trying really hard not to force him to do so.

"Yeah captain obvious, it is. So what exactly is your point?" Cris smiles as Leo finally looks at him, urging him to give a proper answer. Leo takes a deep breath. 

"I'm scared that during the world cup our fans are gonna watch and support their countries and while doing so they're gonna forget all about us and I really don't want that to happen. I mean, even I never liked watching cricket before but now suddenly I'm obsessed and I just worry what if our fans become like that? What if after the tournament is over they don't wanna watch football anymore? What if they don't wanna watch us play anymore? I can't lose my fans. I love them! And seriously this may seem like a stupid thing to think of but I can't help it." Leo's face is flushed and Cris can’t tell whether it's because he's embarrassed or simply because he just spoke faster than humanly possible. 

"You promised you won't laugh." Leo reminds Cris. Cris doesn't know whether he wants to laugh or smack Leo for being so stupid.

"Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to laugh but seriously Leo that's a ridiculous thing to think! I mean, football is obviously more popular than cricket. Like way more and besides I don't think Argentina or Portugal or even Spain for that matter are playing in the world cup. Hardly any major footballing nations are playing. So you see, our fans will be safe." Well, even at a time like this Cris manages to let his arrogance shine through. Leave it to him to think that his profession is way superior than anyone else.

 But despite everything, Cris' not sure how he's taking this. It's funny to see Leo being this insecure but in a way it's also just plain sad. 

"What you're saying is ridiculous! So what if football is more famous? Cricket has quite a large fan base as well. And so what if out national teams are not in the tournament? So what if the major footballing nations are not playing? A sport is universal and so are its supporters. We have fans all over the world. Some of them come from countries where cricket is like a religion and football is nonexistent but they still chose to support us. What if they watch the world cup and think that cricket is better? That cricketers are better? That we aren't as cool anymore?" Leo's looking close to tears and Cris is sure he's losing his marbles. 

Cris doesn't say anything more but he thinks about what Leo's trying to say. Leo actually does have a point. Cris remembers when he used to watch cricket with his dad. He loved it at the time but then after his dad died, Cris just sort of lost interest. Then he thinks about earlier today, about how he was acting all bored and stuff but he was secretly enjoying the game almost as much as Leo. Leo is right about their fans as well. Their fans matter. All of them do. It doesn't matter if they're from Argentina or Portugal or even Madagascar. Their fans are what keeps them going and Cris doesn't want to lose any of his fans. (not to Leo and) Most certainly not to some fancy big hitters. Cris sighs and then frowns at how extremely insecure his thoughts are. Man, Leo's insecurity is definitely rubbing off on him.

"Alright, so maybe you do have a point." Leo smiles at him as if glad that he finally gets him. Even though Leo has a point it's not like they can do something about it. They can't just go gunning down every cricketer in an attempt to keep their fans. Or maybe........

"I'm just scared you know," Leo's saying to him but Cris is too busy formulating a plan. It's a crazy one but it might work.

"What if they steal all our fans?" Leo's sad smile contrasts Cris' evil genius one.

"Don't worry they won't." Cris is surprised at how confident - and crazy - he sounds.

"But what if-"

"Don't worry. We'll take care of them before anything of that sort happens. Ha! Those bastards won't even know what hit 'em." Cris laughs maniacally. Leo inches away from him.

"Um....Cris?" Leo's looking at Cris, half-scared and half-curious. Cris stands up and paces around Leo's hall room.

"So Leo, I have a plan but before I share it with you I need to know which teams are taking part in the world cup."

Leo eyes him wearily but he grabs his phone from the coffee table and shows Cris the list of all the qualified nations. Cris looks over the list, frowns and then looks over it again. He scratches his chin as if in deep thought. 

"Wait a minute.....that's it!" Cris exclaims excitedly and hands Leo back his phone.

He pulls his own phone out of his pocket and then steps out onto the balcony to make some calls. Leo thinks that maybe Cris should be taking medication.

 

 

An hour or something later and Cris' done making his mysterious phone calls and explaining his plan to Leo. Leo looks uncomfortable but he agrees that it's a plan that might work in their favour. They're sitting and discussing ideas when the door bell rings. Leo frowns cause he's not sure he's expecting visitors but before he can react Cris bounds to the door excitedly and pulls it open.

Leo almost has a stroke when he notices who his guests are.

"Iker! Sergio! What took you guys so long?" Cris smiles and lets them in. Sergio looks at Leo and scowls. Iker smiles shyly and says hi before turning his attention back to Cris.

"It takes time to drive from Madrid to Barcelona you know. We came as fast as we could." Iker smiles again and sits beside Leo. Leo isn't really sure why but he blushes and tries to ignore how good Iker smells. Sergio sits beside Iker still saying nothing. Hell, that scowl on his face speaks volumes to Leo. He's probably waiting to murder Leo and bury his body in someones backyard. Leo shudders at that thought. Cris shuts the door and stands in front of the three of them like a lecturer. 

"So Lionel w--" Iker starts but Leo cuts him off. 

"Just Leo is fine." Iker smiles and Leo has to remind himself that he's in the company of other people before he does something stupid. Again. 

"Well Leo, I agree with what you told Cris. It makes sense. Although I am not so sure about Cris' plan but Sergio and I are ready to help in any way we can." It takes Leo a while to process what's going on.

"You told them?" Leo glares at Cris, who shrugs. Sergio mumbles something and Iker nudges him. Leo doesn't need to hear him to know what he's saying; _'let's kill Lionel Messi instead'_. Leo shudders again. Why couldn't Cris call someone a little less scary, like that James kid. He would've been fun to have around.

"I figured we could use some help. If we are actually planning to assassinate some cricketers just two of us wouldn't be enough." Cris smiles at his fellow teammates. 

"It's okay Leo, we're here to help. Our fans mean the world to us and we'd do anything to keep them." Iker puts a hand on Leo's shoulder. Leo's not bothered by that at all.

"Thanks Iker. I appreciate it." Leo smiles.

"No problem. All right then Cris, what's the plan?" Cris opens his mouth to say something but right at that moment his phone rings.

Cris smiles as he sees the caller ID and answers the phone with a very enthusiastic, "Heyyyy!"

Iker's hand is still on his shoulder but Leo's trying not to pay attention to that. Leo's trying to focus on Cris' conversation instead. 

"Uh-huh. Yeah, I get it. Okay. Why? All right then but he's your responsibility. Okay. Yeah. No! That's the point of everything. Oh c'mon! No but........okay fine! Yes, I promise. So you're helping, right? Great!" Leo watches as Cris hangs up and does some weird victory dance.

"Who was that?" Sergio asks.

"A friend of mine." Cris' smiling like a maniac. 

"Um.....which _friend_?" Leo hopes that Cris isn't inviting any more madridistas over. Especially since all of them aren't as good as Iker and most of them are as scary as Sergio and not to mention they hate his guts.

"It doesn't matter, Lionel. All you need to do is pack your bags." Leo cringes. He hates when people call him Lionel. Yeah it is his name but it sucks. He would've preferred it if his parents had named him Mitch instead. Okay, maybe not.  _  
_

"Oh. Okay. Where are we going?" Iker and Sergio look just as confused as he is. Apparently, this journey is a last minute addition to their plan.

"Manchester. Obviously." Cris rolls his eyes. Iker, Sergio and Leo share the same look of utter confusion but Cris doesn't seem to care. He simply starts singing 'Staying Alive' and walks away from them towards the kitchen.

 Okay. Correction. Leo thinks that Cris _needs_ to be taking medication.

*

 Sergio doesn't really care much about all this and he doesn't really want to be here. The only reason he's sitting in an airport waiting for Wayne Rooney to show up is because of Iker. The guy literally begged him to come along and being the amazing friend that he is, Sergio obliged. Although Sergio still wonders why Iker wanted to come in the first place. It's not like killing some cricketers during your time off is a very nice thing to do. Anyways just to pass time, Sergio looks at Cris as he paces around impatiently. 

"He should be here by now. Why isn't he here?" Cris asks Leo who shrugs in annoyance. 

"I don't know Cris. Just sit down okay. We still have like two hours or something before our next flight." Leo's going insane or rather Cris is driving him insane.

It's been an hour since they arrived at Manchester and now they're stuck here, in this spacious fucking VIP lounge waiting for more of Cris' friends who Leo isn't comfortable with. Apparently, Sergio and Iker aren't the only people Cris recruited. He's somehow also convinced Wayne Rooney to join them and Wayne's bringing some other kid along with him. Great. Leo almost can't believe there's so many people willing to be a part of this weird plan of theirs. Maybe all footballers have serious psychological issues.

"Okay. Yeah, you're right, I should sit down for a while." Cris smiles at Leo and sits down beside him. Leo sighs. He needs to tell Cris and he needs to tell him now.

"Cris, I need to tell yo-" Leo doesn't get to finish his sentence because right at that moment someone yells, "Leo!"

As Leo looks at Cesc making his way across the lounge towards the rest of them, he thinks _'too late'_.

Leo looks at Cris, who's making that disappointed/bug-swallowing/judging expression again. Cris' glaring at Cesc and he's not the only one. Sergio's glaring at him too. The only other person who's excited at the fact that Cesc is here is Iker. He's smiling so wide and looking so happy that Leo's almost jealous. _Almost_.

"Who invited..... _him_?" Cris snarls. Leo isn't sure where it comes from but suddenly he's glaring at Cris.

"You invited your friends without telling me. So I figured it wouldn't be a problem if I did the same thing. You don't have a problem, do you?" Leo's not what anyone will call intimidating but judging from the way Cris swallows nervously and shakes his head, Leo thinks he must look pretty intimidating right now. He turns away triumphantly and is about to run up to Cesc to wrap him in a brotherly hug and stuff but Iker beats him to it. Leo isn't sure how to react.

"Cesc, it's so good to see you!" Cesc looks mildly embarrassed. Cris has an amused look on his face. Sergio looks like he wants to hit Cesc, which isn't all that surprising and Leo's not sure what his expression looks like but he's pretty guilty about how he's feeling.

"Yeah, it's good to see you too, Iker." Cesc smiles and detaches himself from Iker. Iker laughs - a sound that borders between a giggle and very unmanly squeak - and throws his arm around Cesc's shoulder.

As Leo walks up to greet Cesc, he's pretty sure the guy's blushing. Leo wonders if the rumours circulating during the FIFA world cup were true. He really hopes not.

"Thanks for coming." Leo tells Cesc as he hugs him. Well, at least he tries too 'cause it certainly isn't easy with Iker not wanting to let go.

"Anything for you, Leo." Cesc whispers into his ears and Leo's really grateful that he's decided to join them. He gives Leo a tight squeeze before he lets go.

"Hey Sergio. Cris." Cesc greets the two others who just nod at him, obviously not happy that he's here. Leo's just thinking that maybe he should tell Cris about the _other_ person he's invited when someone yells out again. But this time it's Cris' name that's ringing across the lounge and not his.

"Oi! Cris!" Wayne looks so ridiculously happy to see Cris that Leo almost wants to laugh. Trailing behind Wayne, looking almost as excited, is a blond kid Leo's never seen before. 

"Wayne! You're late." Cris chides but he laughs and walks over to Wayne and wraps him in a hug. Then there's a moment of awkwardness amongst the other five as the hug lasts a little too long.

"Yeah. Sorry about that mate but we uh....sort of got caught in traffic." Wayne glances at the blond kid and Leo swears he notices the kid blushing. A rather disturbing thought crosses Leo's mind and he almost scoffs. Yeah, right. _Traffic_.

"Yeah. Okay. So Wayne, I don't think I have to introduce you to any of these guys....." Cris gestures at them. Wayne laughs and greets all of them with a big smile. Then he introduces the blond kid.

"This is James but you guys can just call him Wilo." James smiles at them and for a moment - just a moment - Leo thinks that he wouldn't mind getting _"caught in traffic"_  with this kid.

"He has a lot of experience." Wayne says seriously. And before Leo can realize it he's making a fool out of himself again.

"Yeah, I'm sure he has." Leo blurts out, with a smirk on his face. Everybody turns to look at him. Leo's face flushes immediately as he tries to say something that doesn't sound as lecherous but fortunately for him, Iker speaks up before he can.

"He has experience killing people?" Iker asks incredulously. James' still blushing because of Leo's earlier comment but he manages a confused frown. Wayne frowns as well and then looks at Cris.

"You didn't tell them?" He asks Cris. Cris sighs.

"Alright, so we aren't exactly gonna kill anybody 'cause Wayne says it's wrong to do so." Cris looks disappointed. Leo makes a silent vow to take Cris to a shrink after all this is over.

"Yeah," Wayne says, "it is. And also because I don't want to murder any of my countrymen." He shrugs.

"So we aren't gonna kill anyone but Wayne suggested that drugging people would be just as fun." Cris grins. Somewhere behind Leo, someone laughs. Leo thinks it may be Sergio.

"Exactly! And we can drug them just before their games y'know, leave them incapacitated. That way they don't have a good game, cricket suffers as a whole, the players lose their fans and our purpose is served." Wayne smiles proudly. Leo has to admit, this sounds like a better idea than killing someone.

"Okay, so that means this kids has an experience with drugs? How old is he?" Iker still seems shaken by the idea of involving James in all of this.

"Yes and I'm nineteen." James shrugs.

"N-nineteen?" Iker chokes. So does Leo but it's for a whole different reason.

"Well, I like this new idea better." Sergio says and everyone but Cris agrees. 

"We can hire a hit-man." Cris suggests and Leo has a sneaking suspicion that Cris already has.

"That still counts as murder. Even though _we_ aren't doing the killing ourselves and all......" Wayne explains to Cris.

"Yeah. I think we should stick with the plan of a nineteen year old drugging people." Iker grumbles. Apparently he still isn't comfortable with such a young guy being involved in all this.

"Whatever." Cris mumbles and excuses himself saying that he needs to make some calls.

Leo thinks that waiting doesn't seem like such a good idea so he decides to take Cris to a shrink as soon as they reach Australia. 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These characters tend to swear a lot. Oops.


End file.
